For those of you who follow me in Twitter, you might have seen my tweet from this morning. An anonymous commenter posted something on my most recent blog post, and well, it kind of made me sick to my stomach. They said that I sometimes come across as "racist and fake," and it was "just an honest opinion."
At first I thought it might have been someone playing around, since the post topic was about "speaking nicely." But I couldn't stop obsessing over this comment. "Fake," I can handle. I mean sure, sometimes being overly nice does come across as fake. But racist? That was an accusation that did not sit well with me! Had I made a joke about something? Sometimes I make comments about being half Asian. Did I cross a line somewhere? What could I have said to make this person think this way?
Well, you all got my back! You told me not to worry, that the commenter obviously didn't know me. And you assured me that (to you) I'm neither of those things. Phew!
But I still worry a bit. I mean, it's nearly impossible to be nice 24/7. There are times when I'm a full-on [insert expletive here]. I try to hold my tongue (or would it be "bind my fingers?") when I'm online since being nice is kind of my MO. I don't want to ruin that. And I know I shouldn't let one comment bother me, but I know it's definitely going to make me evaluate what I say or type in the future. And maybe that's a good thing. In fact, I'd love it if the anonymous commenter could let me know what I might have said so I can refrain from ever sounding "racist and fake" again. Might as well learn from the situation, right?
By the way, have I mentioned lately how much your support rocks my world? :) I probably would have stopped blogging a while ago if I didn't have you guys cheering me on along the way. YOU'RE the nice ones!
Friday, June 18, 2010
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27 comments:
My dear, sweet, "nice", kind and loving Melissa... we have "no control" over what other people think, say, or do.
And most of the time, what they are thinking, saying and doing — is about THEM. You are just the sweet little person that happen to cross their path that they decided to "PROJECT" their "whatever" onto.
NO Worries... you do not have to "change" an thing about yourself. Now go and get a latte and keep spreading your kindness... the world needs it.
Love and blessings,
xoxo Valerie
The name of the site is Operation Nice not Operation Perfect.
I know the things this anonymous person said about you are not true but I don't think thats the point. Being nice to me is about being humble, and clearly you are.
I think it's always about 'aspiring to be' something. I aspire to be a better husband or father, I aspire to be a better business man, I aspire to reach my goals. I aspire to be perfectly nice. It means I'm not always going to reach it but I will never stop chasing it.
Some people never start the chase because they think about the FAIL, I think about the 'ASPIRE'.
I think being humble and transparent is so needed, and is so nice.
A lot of blogs I read have been getting mean comments lately.
I dont understand why people take the time to be rude and call names - especially because each blog this has happened to happen to be THE NICEST blogs I know.
Dont worry about (of course i understand, it would probably bother me too) even if you did say something that offended someone, thats their choice to be offended and we know your intentions are obviously good ones... I mean your blog is called "Operation Nice" ha ha
Girl, you need to delete that comment and shake off all that bad energy and realize how awesome you are!
Don't give this person your energy ANY MORE! You're too good for that. And, hey, anonymous, you are a mean, mean person!
Ultimately, you've proven that you aren't fake or a racist just by stopping to evaluate the validity of the anonymous comment.
On the upside, the comment and tweets about it have introduced me to your blog which rocks. It looks like I have quite a bit of reading to catch up on.
Thanks for the great blog despite the unfortunate introduction to it.
I find it interesting when someone leaves a not So nice comments - they just happen to be "Anonymous"...
Overall - Don't change for anybody. Keep what you are doing and keep to your path. Don't worry about it. Here's a quote that I found and love: Never Apologize for saying what you feel - that's like saying "sorry for being real".
Keep being real ;)
Have a wonderful day!
Julia
I agree with all of the above comments! Keep believing in yourself and don't let the one bad negate all of the good!
I wouldn't even give them the chance to say anymore -- just be done with it! Obviously, they're NOT nice :)
you are everything everybody says you are. NICE, GOOD, HONEST and KIND. now quit worrying about people that obviously haven't taken the time to get to know you and who you really are. xoxo mel. -dev
I feel sorry for Mr. Anonymous! If he thinks that anyone who is nice or kind is fake then he needs a good friend...come on guys group hug for Mr. Anonymous.
Luke said it best.
We are all just trying to be better versions of ourselves. Remember each day is a test, sometimes we fail other days we pass. But not preparing to take the test is the real failure!
To the person who posted the ugly comment, as we say here in the South, bless their heart.
Sounds like anonymous needs some love. I find that people out to get others for no reason are hurting deep down and are jealous of the ones they go after. If they were really offended by something why not be open to a mature discussion about the details in private instead of going directly to personal attacks and name calling in public. Shows right there that they have issues. You are great and I love your blog!
I think that Anonymous' post just proves the purpose of this blog. I think that for his/her own entertainment, he/she threw a rock of meanness into the pool to see the ripples spread.
But this blog is about doing nice things and watching the ripples of niceness spread. That's the power of doing something, and you always use your power to do good!
Don't think about that post anymore and add to its ripples; just keep doing what you do so well!
Having never commented on your blog, merely lurking and admiring, I am moved to reassure you that I love your writing and your philosophy: ignore sad people who cannot resist casting shadows.
Honestly, I don't read any blogs intently, I usually just skim over every one I come across. But racism is something I'd notice pretty quickly, and I've never seen you say anything even close to racist.
And you certainly don't come across fake, maybe that's just the nice coming out in me, so I see the absolute best in every one, but you're incredibly truthful, and just plain kind.
melissa - you are GREAT and that person's comments should not get you down! keep doing what you are doing. we all love you!!
I've had hackers sabotage my blog with crude and embarrassing comments and it does leave you feeling violated and humiliated. Just remember that to NICE folks out number the jerks. Peace out!
Sometimes there is good reason for people to be critical of what we say or do.
So if you are criticized for whatever reason, try to be open-minded about it.
Any feedback is useful, even the (worryingly common) “You Su*k″ type.
It may not be nice to hear criticism, but such feedback is often
a sure sign you have done something wrong for a portion of your audience.
I think it’s very important to separate the wheat from the chaff in a piece of criticism–don’t reject the message simply because you feel put off by the messenger.
Hello
Do not pay attention to what kind of person. We call them trolls. They are there to do harm. It must be forgotten.
Anyway, I like your idea and your blog. Bonne continuation.
Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.
~Henry James
Perhaps anonymous should read Henry James?
I have had strange comments posted on my blog recently too...and that is saying a lot, because sadly, I *rarely* get any comments at all.
I love reading your blogs! You seem to be a genuinely "nice" person, so I would keep writing without over-editing too much. Don't let his person make you afraid to write the way you always have!
People can be very brave when they are anonymous. As far as an "honest opinion"...how insane! I can't think of anything that would justify the comment at all. But if A couldn't speak nicely then why not just move along? No one is out there forcing her/him to read this blog. This was a random troublemaker out to stir the pot & probably never even read the blog. Try to forget it.
Melissa, you can't have the kind of impact you have had with the Operation Nice endeavor by being fake or racist. Time and truth walk hand in hand and the truth would be more obvious by now if such was the case.
I think the other "Anonymous" above has a point about not rejecting negative comments out of hand. We become healthier by looking at the good and the bad, but it also doesn't mean that you have to buy it just because someone said it. Look at it, contemplate it, make changes if necessary or move on if it isn't valid. Frankly, I don't pay any attention to people who don't have the courage to identify themselves when they critcize or critique. It is too easy to become nasty and hateful when one doesn't have to personally and publically claim one's accusations. It's an act of cowardice.
That said, I would say that I personally think you are the bomb. No good deed goes unpunished, you know? Keep rockin'.
I keep getting Asian porn posted to my blog. Crap, what does that say about my illustrations??? :D Hehehehe! Whatevs, girl. You'll learn to deal with the haters as Operation NICE sky rockets to the moon. Weee! Look at is as training... if you're going to be famous, you're going to have haters. Oh and random fortune cookie for you, "All the darkness in the world cannot put out a single candle." WORD. That was much better than the typo fortune. ;D I love you!
I enjoy your blog and appreciate your positivity! It's inspiring to know that we can make a difference if we continue to walk the walk. You are doing a GREAT job!
Listen an old greek boyfriend I had once told me "never let the bastards get you down," lol I live by it today, sadly the boyfriend is no longer around Love Hugs and Lot's of Nice, Nice.
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