From the cnn.com article:
Fed up with the rude behavior you experience day in and day out? Is it aggressive driving, co-workers who don't wash their hands or smokers who use the sidewalk as their personal ashtrays?
What about the sales clerks who ignore you -- then act like they own the store when you finally get their attention?
It's time for a return to civility!
I thought this stat from the article was pretty hilarious: "Eighty percent of Americans think rudeness is a serious national problem, but 99 percent of the same people say that they themselves are not rude."
How rude are you? Take the quiz and find out!
Honestly, I'm fairly rude. I admit that I am attached to my iPhone, and I use it at restaurants or at my friends' homes. And I'm terrible with returning phone calls and rsvp-ing on time. What are your areas of improvement?
This is kind of perfect timing because the article mentions Dr. P.M. Forni, who co-founded the Johns Hopkins Civility Project in 1997. Dr. Forni wrote "Choosing Civility: The 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct" which happens to be the book I'm currently reading! Crazy coincidence! Some of the topics covered in the book are the following: Think Twice Before Asking Favors, Give Constructive Criticism, Refrain from Idle Complaints, Respect Others' Opinions, Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame, Care for Your Guests, Accept and Give Praise. I only started it recently, but I've already gone to town with my highlighter.
So let me know your thoughts. Is rudeness a huge problem? Is overcoming rudeness easier said than done? Do you agree with the article's points about dealing with people in the service industry? I'd love to hear what you think!
10 comments:
I have often said I believe everyone should have to work in food service at least once in their lives. I am currently waiting tables as I work my way through my mid-life crisis and decide what I want to do with the second half of my life. Since taking on this job I have become a much more patient and tolerant customer. I do suffer my share of rude customers, to be sure. There is one family, though, that always, in addition to a generous tip, makes sure to tell me how much they appreciate all that I do. If I'm running around fast, they'll physically touch my arm to slow me down long enough to really hear what they're saying. I can't tell you what this means to me, especially on days when I'm feeling particularly unappreciated.
As I said, I know I'm a better and more considerate customer as a result of having experienced the other side of the fence.
As for the cell phones... I rarely use mine - I am not connected to it in the way that so many people are. It seems like a whole new etiquette is required that just hasn't been established yet. I think it may be generational. My daughter is indeed attached to hers and my husband and I find ourselves constantly reminding her to live in the moment. She will miss things that are actually going on because she is talking or texting with someone she's NOT with. We don't get it. But maybe we're just old.
I believe I'll put that book high on my reading list!
Funny, I thought of you when I saw this article!
Tammy, you are so right. I'm usually stunned when I'm out to eat with friends and they barely chip in a 10% tip. I always make sure to tip 20% or over. Maybe that's because my mom was a waitress for years when I was younger. Also, I know I need to cut out the cell phone thing. My girlfriend in Arizona was texting me last night while I was having dinner with my husband and he got pretty irritated, saying that I make it difficult for him to have a conversation with me. Obviously he comes first. But I need to show that.
Cathe, that is so funny! I love how stuff like that reminds people of me! I'm in your head!! :)
I took the quiz and the only one I failed was have I typed an email while on the phone.
Get this...once I went on a first date with a guy and at the end of the date he thanked me for being so nice to our waitress. He told me that his Grandmother always told him that those who are kind to food service workers are kind to all. Because of this he always took his first dates to a restaurant and then closely observed their behavior.
That's a good tip! Have you ever watched A Bronx Tale? There's a scene that says a girl is bad news if she doesn't reach over and unlock the car door for a guy. I always did that. My husband said I passed the test on our first date. :)
Hey Emilie, did you get my email from the other day?
I think an awful lot of people are unrude most of the time because they make an effort to be. But everyone has a bad day, and if I see a generic someone on their bad day, I have no way of knowing whether it's a one-time deal or they're always so rude.
In addition, we don't all perceive rude the same way. For example, my neighbors let their dogs relieve themselves on my yard on a regular basis, and I did the same when we had a dog. If you're out for a walk in the neighborhood, where else would they go? I'm sure no one would consider the sidewalk a good alternative! If it's solid waste, clean it up. Otherwise, I just have always considered that normal pet behavior. But seeing that question on the quiz makes me think not everyone would agree. I still can't come up with a good solution, though.
One thing I do think is that in addition to trying to be nice on a regular basis, it would be better for everyone if we made the assumption that people are nice on a regular basis. Expect niceness and excuse rudeness whenever possible (we all know a habitual offender, and I'm not referring to them), and probably a lot of us would be happier.
I took the test and the only things that I got stuck on were the express line question and the gossiping question. I have taken more items, but only if there's no one behind me and I always ask the cashier if it's okay. I used to gossip, but I stopped that a couple of years ago, so I'm not really guilty of that any longer.
As for rudeness, I think that most people are just ignorant. They aren't going out of their way to be rude - they just are busy worrying about themselves and not paying attention to others around them. It's a shame that people are so self-centered. I don't think it's a new thing though. A certain member of my family is in her 80's, and she and her friends can be very rude and self-centered.
Oh, and I always tip at least 20%. My husband does as well. I have worked for tips as a waitress and manicurist in the past and I know how important it is.
Yesterday, some girl in her early 20s was rude to me! I am about to put in my card to get through the turnstile for the train. The girl decides to exit right at the one i'm at after seeing i'm just about an inch from having my card in the slot. There are two other turnstiles she could have used. So i have to back out because she started to come through. It was just rude because she couldn't wait 2 seconds longer for me to put my card in and go through. And there was an empty right next to where I was at.
I seriously have no patience for people without manners anymore and I fully agree it's a huge problem!
I think it's a pretty significant problem and I completely agree with chris (dippy chick) that in most cases, the people are just to self-absorbed to realize that they're being rude.
Another book you might enjoy is "Talk to the Hand" by Lynn Truss. Its subtitle says it all: "The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door." It's quite hilarious and so unfortunately true. I enjoyed it and it certainly got me thinking.
It seems like there ought to be a way to get people's attention about rudeness, but it's not so simple.
I don't fall into the group that things everyone BUT themselves are rude! I absolutely judge people based on how they treat service industry workers. My mother always said you could tell how a guy will treat you in the long run based on how he treats his mother and waitresses.
I am working on making sure that I give my full attention to the person I'm physically spending time with. Just because my phone's ringing doesn't mean I have to answer it.
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